THOUGHT PROVOKING GURU GYAN
HAPPINESS & THE "RAT RACE"
Ever wondered what is this 'Rat Race'?
We run in the race because of FOMO (fear of missing out).
How can we escape the Rat Race?
Simple. Don't run in the race, but what does that imply?
We can escape if we focus on our needs rather than wants, because our needs are limited, whereas our wants are infinite.
Our inner being speaks to us, telling us what really appeals to us, suits us and what does not.
Most elements in society tell us how inadequate or incomplete we re because we are lacking this or that. So we pursue what we are told is appealing rather than what is genuinely appealing to us.
If we follow our heart and take the mind with us, we can escape the 'Rat Race'.
The 'Rat Race' can only hold the promise of success. Success however is external to our being so we have to look for it outside. Happiness is inherent within us, it only has to be realised from within our being.
Rich or poor, the 'Rat Race' cannot deliver happiness. More money, power or success does not mean more health and happiness. They just help to buy a better quality of unhappiness. If we examine carefully we will notice that the rich are comfortably unhappy and the poor are uncomfortably unhappy.
Live simply, eat moderately, love intensely, work and play passionately is a good mantra for living outside the 'Rat Race'.
STRESS Vs PERFORMANCE
Conversations about stress and de-stressing, seem to dominate our lives. To talk about stress has become a fashionable but necessary need
First thing to appreciate is that not all stress is bad. Without some stress we would not even be alive, an excess of stress incapacitates us. Too little or too much stress over a period of time can kill us.
For a person to admit that he or she is not stressed is often considered an admission of non striving and the hallmark of a non-achiever. It might very well be that the individual is performing at his or her peak capacity.
Simply put we are all 'energy beings', a concentration of energy manifested in a body, and mind. And we know that energy can not be created nor destroyed, energy only transforms as it moves through the universe and our individual lives.
Energy is generated within us as it comes from our physical and intellectual diet and our environment. This energy therefore has to find an outlet. Too few the outlets and demands of this energy causes it to rise within us corroding and destroying us from within. Too great the demands from the individual being than what the body can generate strains and ever threatens our very existence.
Our ideal world and existence lies within these two extremes of 'Rust Out' and 'Burn Out'. Between too little an outlet to too extreme a demand.
At one end is 'boredom' which is the desire for desires. It is the seeking of application of mind and body towards some application of our manifest energies. To avoid Rust Out, we seek to just be engaged, to want to feel alive, to feel useful, wanted, loved and a being, ideology, an idea be able to shower our energies on.
Boredom is what drives us to extreme, ridiculous and even dangerous behaviour.
At the other hand it is the desire to chuck out excess demands of our energy. So excessive that it strains our being almost to breaking point. This is called 'Burn Out'. That is why people go berserk on holidays, and weekends.
During the weekdays, it's even worse, we indulge ourselves in some addictions, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, and a whole host of stimulants that will help numb us to accept our situation while providing us temporary energy to make it through the week and our lives.
Life and work balance is nothing but the functioning at an optimal level where we can perform at our very best over a ling period of time.
Please stay tuned to my webpage and social platforms for tips and suggestions on how to achieve life and work balance.
My children are not my friends
During a visit to Kolkata, my cousin, a deep and wonderful man, asked me, "How would you describe your relationship with your children?"
Puffing my chest out, proudly, I replied, "Why, we are friends."
He replied, "Forgive me my brother for pointing it out, but your children have many friends, where as they have only one set of parents. The only people who will be firm and honest with people are their parents and their genuine teachers."
I was irritated that my cousin 15 years younger than me, should even think this way. "How old fashioned and outdated was his outlook?" As with disturbance to deeply held beliefs, Raja's statement disturbed me.
When I returned from Kolkata, I decided to ask my two sons over Sunday lunch, about defining our relationship. We discussed my trip and what all had transpired.
Eventually I got around to my conversation with cousin. I then asked them, "Do you think I should be more of a friend or less of a friend to you guys?
Both my sons replied in unison and without hesitation, "Less of a friend".
I was flabbergasted, and felt somewhat disappointed. I had to know why they said that.
Then our elder son said, "Dad we love and respect you, but you know, with friends there are no boundaries, and sometimes, we take you for granted. When we treat you as a friend we often say or behave silly, sometimes even disrespectful. When we behave like that with you, and even though you never get offended, we deeply regret it. This is why, it is better that we be more respectful, than friendly."
"Wow! I did not see that one coming", I told myself.
I realised it is the fashion to be friends with one's children, but there is big difference between being friends and being friendly.
Maybe you should ask yourself and your children the same question!!
Where is Home?
A girl broke my teenage son's heart. He came home devastated. His mother took one look at him and without saying a word, just hugged him, He broke down and sobbed his heart out. Even though it took him a long while, the healing started with that hug.
Once whilst travelling outstation I fell seriously ill. Neither self-medication nor the doctor’s prescription provided relief. I knew, all I had to do was to get home in one piece and my wife would take care of me. I reached home and soon thereafter the dark clouds stopped enveloping me.
A home is not a place, its a person. That person is usually a woman. Mother, wife, aunt, sister, daughter etc. This woman is our refuge, the one who will always make us feel wanted, cared for and loved.
The Indian word for refuge, a safe and sheltered abode is 'Ashrya'. we are where we belong, feel at home, and can rest our head without being judged or harassed.
Nearly all mothers have this natural quality, to create a sense of emotional security, love and care. Similarly nearly all fathers provide that sense of physical and material security.
If people are fortunate they will discover the same traits in their spouse/partner.
That is, the one and only, our real home.